Witched at Birth By Dakota Cassidy
Freshly sprung from witch jail, Winnie Foster just has to fulfill the conditions of her parole and she’s home free.
Too bad that parole takes place in Paris. (Texas!) Where she’ll work at a school for the magically inclined. (KIDS!) And be forced to endure the ex, who’s one of the very reasons she landed in the pokey to begin with. (GAH!!)
Bratty tots, sexy ex, timed showers, creepy dolls, magic restrictions, and a GPS with an attitude, all wrapped in a Texas town hotter than the surface of the sun? Oh yeah. No way this could go wrong…
“You’re going to Paris.”
Winnie kept her expression placid, but her stomach pirouetted like a ballerina. Shut the front door. Her task was in Paris?
Act like it’s no big deal. You’ve been to Paris before. Okay, you got there by zapping your own private plane into being and making a mess of international airspace, if you listened to air traffic control carry on about it, but it all turned out okay.
But holy shopping! Paris? Had Zelda gotten as lucky as she had?
Baba Yaga held up a set of shiny keys, glinting under the fading sun. “Take these.”
Winnie cocked her head. “Keys?” Did planes use keys to start them?
“What are stupid questions for one hundred, Alex? Yes. Keys, Winnifred. Take them,” she snapped, holding them out to Winnie and jiggling them under her nose.
She was all about being tested. In fact, she welcomed it if it meant she could get on with her life, but even Baba Yaga couldn’t expect her to drive to Paris without using her magic. “Do you need keys to start a plane?” she asked tentatively.
“Nope, but you need them to drive.”
Winnie laughed out loud, slapping her thighs. “You can’t drive to Paris, Baba Yaga. You’ve been around for centuries—did you miss that history lesson?”
Baba Yaga’s eyes narrowed, glittery and angry.
Ohhh. Bad Winnie. Hush before you end up in cellblock X.
“I didn’t miss a thing, Winnifred. Literally or figuratively. The keys are for your car. See that rusty pink bubble with the Summer’s Eve advertisement on it?” She pointed all the way to the far end of the parking lot.
Winnie squinted into the setting sun, her stomach sinking. Indeed, there was a pink Pacer, professionally wrapped with a picture of an enormous feminine product on the side of it. “Yeah…”
“That’s your chariot, cookie. There’s a GPS system in there with the coordinates for Paris.”
She was obviously missing the boat here. You couldn’t drive to Paris, for seven hells’ sakes. Not even in a car with a big douche on the side of it.
Baba Yaga lobbed the keys at her with an evil grin slathered over her ageless lips. “Oh, and in case you’re wondering. That’s Paris, Texas. Not Eiffel-Tower, Champs-Élysées Paris,” she seemed to take great pleasure in sharing before she was gone in a puff of pink curtains and matching scrunchie.
Winnie and Zelda are two spoiled witches whose crime against the witchs reed have landed them in the slammer without magic and with out the life they have grown accustomed to or rather zapped up for themselves. Best Friends and each others ride or die they have some how survived their sentence.
They are now up for parole and have each been given a task to prove that they are worthy of their magic. Not only must they prove their worth but they must do it with out one another!
I thought this book was hilarious and I snorted more than once! I loved watching Winnie go from a snot with a bad temper who used her magic against others with no remorse to a loving softy who sacrifices everything for the kids and other who have stolen her heart whilst being stranded in Paris Texas.
This plot line was original and so freaking funny, the lengths that Baba Yaga who is the HBC of the magical console has gone to punish Winnie makes this book hum with those funny awkward moments that make you lauch out loud while reading.
So here she is stuck in Paris… not THAT Paris but Paris Texas driving around a pink french douche mobile who insist on calling her Weenie, a talking cabbage pack kid who just happens to having his head hanging by a thread and shes saying in the same house as her ex who she spent time in the slamer for blowing up his warehouse and ruining his company. Oh Vey!
So after reading this fantastic read I was inspired (by the douche mobile) to make a bad ass bright pink sparkling cocktail! It’s super easy and super yummy!
So here is what you will need-
- 4 ounces Strawberry Flavored vodka
- I Bottle Rose
- I Cup WatermelonJuice (Easily made by juicing/blending some chunks of watermelon and straining 1-2 times)
- Sliced Frozen Strawberries
In a pitcher pour Strawberry Vodka and Watermelon Juice mixing with a wooden spoon. Slowly pour in Bottle of Rose. Garnish each glass with 4-5 slices of strawberries (don’t worry about the juice it adds to the yummy!) and pour cocktail over strawberries!
USA Today Bestselling author Dakota Cassidy lives for a good laugh in life and in her writing. In fact, she almost loves a good giggle as much as she loves hair products and that’s saying something.
Her goals in life are simple, (like really simple): banish the color yellow forever, create world peace via hot rollers and Aqua Net; and finally, nab every tiara in the land by competing in the Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss World pageants, then sweeping them in a stunning trifecta of much duct tape and Vaseline usage, all in just under one week. Oh, and write really fun books!
Dakota lives in Oregon with her dogs and has a husband who puts the heroes in her books to shame.
Facebook author page–https://www.facebook.com/DakotaCassidyFanPage/?ref=hl