Okay so you may have noticed things have slowed down here. You may have noticed my absence from facebook and some other social media. Now before I get into the reasons why I want you to know how much I love book community- the indie one specifically. The past two years have been a whirlwind of ups and downs and this community has held me up when I was completely down. I have met some of the most amazing people that I am now lucky to call my friends.
Sometimes however somethings just get in the way. Somethings that are completely out of your hands and can not be controlled. One of those things for me is the dreaded D word. The word that not many people enjoy uttering because of the social stigma society places on certain words.
The D word I am talking about is Depression. Now I can use pretty metaphors to explain the hold that depression has on most people but I won’t do that. I won’t lie and say that all days are horrible either. Depression plan ol sucks the life and motivation out of you. It causes you to know that things need to be done but simply not have the energy nor the drive to make these things happen,
There are days when I have so much on my plate and can’t bring myself to even get out of bed. Taking a shower is a struggle let alone doing the things I love like reading, baking and blogging. I basically become the zombie of a once silly, fun-loving bookworm who is honestly just going through the motions of everyday life trying to survive.
Some days I don’t feel quite so weighed down and the monster that is depression even allows me happiness and laughter. Those are the best days- like today I have been able to wash two loads of laundry, finish reading a book as well as even remember to eat breakfast all before noon. Noon is normally about the time I get out of bed simply out of having to in order to get to work. So on days like today I get as much crammed in before my energy eludes me again and the want to do things goes away.
What society doesn’t tell you is depression doesn’t go away sometimes yeah it takes a small vacation that can last for years but sometimes it attacks you when you least expect it and latches on.
So know that I am not lazy, or that I do not love this blog and what I do but am simply having a rough patch. That I am battling the monster, the d word and some days I have enough spoons to feed a village and some days I barely have a spoon to feed myself. I am trying but your continued support and my ever growing TBR are really helping this bookworm survive!
A bookworm trying to find her way